Wednesday, January 21, 2015

I called him babe.



It will have been 2 years on February 12th since my ex husband told me that he never loved me. It doesn't seem like it has been that long. Nothing sucks more than your best friend telling you that he tried to love you for 5 years and just couldn't do it anymore. A million memories flooded my mind of us that screamed otherwise.

BUT guess what, here I am 2 years later living and crap. Who would have thought that the most dark times of my life would have brought confidence, strength, and the endurance to deal with all the petty stuff that comes a long with it.





So my ex and his girlfriend wanted to come the weekend after Christmas to see the boys for the day and give them Christmas presents. When my ex dropped them off, my youngest was crying and saying that he was so hungry. He had them all day and out of reaction, frustration, or whatever you want to call it, I snapped my head up and probably mean mugged him and said, "BABE! Uh did you even feed them? When did they last eat?"

The awkwardness of the entire situation was quite comical, but he blankly stared at me, didn't correct me, and said "Yes I fed them. He didn't really eat much." I was semi mortified, and quickly apologized and said "Sorry, I called you that for close to 8 years, it was out of habit." No response from him, he just told me that his girlfriend was mad and sitting in the car and that he needed to go.

I don't know how you can literally not live with someone, hardly speak to them, unless its about your children, and you still accidentally call them babe.

LORD HELP ME.

We all live and learn. Divorce is the hardest thing I have ever done, next to being married (if that makes sense).

You pick up your broken pieces and move on, live, love and love again, laugh much and often, hold you babies tight, find your passions, and just live.