Adulting

It has been a hot second since I have laid it all out on this blog. I have tossed the idea around for a long time about changing the direction of what I want to write about and what kind of blog I want to have. But over the last few months I have realized I just want to be genuine, real and raw with people about life.

I write this tonight as I am overwhelmed with the day of activities that I have accomplished. You see, I am a single mother to two little boys. I am my kids sole provider and while I have an amazing support system and family, some days I find myself completely and totally exhausted. While driving home from cub scouts with my boys I just wanted to cry. I was hungry, tired and I still had to get gas in my car, I felt completely alone and overwhelmed. My kids were tired from the long day of schoolwork, jiu jitsu and their first pack meeting of the year. 

Why I thought it was an amazing idea to have us all involved in all these things is beyond me. I do not pretend to know what I am doing, nor do I take what cards I have been dealt with lightly. I do not want them to miss out on life because they only have one parent around to do things, so I make sacrifices on the daily for my children and die to myself so they are happy. I am not my kids bestie, I do not give them everything they want. I have taught my boys that they should work for what they want in life. They see me fight for it in the gym, on my knees and in life. They have seen my at my strongest and at my weakest.

I have an amazing life, and yes I can do a lot of things and multitask like a boss. I still make it to the gym 5-6 days a week, meal prep, can still maintain friendships, volunteer as a youth leader at my church, home school my kids, and still find time late in the evenings for myself.

I not only work my main job, but hold two side businesses as well. I am rarely home, and when I am I want to soak up the peacefulness of it all before it slips away.

I do not regret the circumstances and situation that has brought me to where I am and who I have become today. The pain of my separation from my ex husband nearly did me in. But here I am today stronger than I have ever been, happier than I have ever been, with a fire inside me that burns to make myself a better person and to strive for greatness in life. I chose to rise up, to stand up, and that is what matters most my friends. What you do when you have been knocked down by life onto your knees.

Xoxo,

Nicole